just slt back and relax... and quote:cool2:

pain! lots and lots of pain!!

-knights tale

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.


I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
One of the best comedians ever IMO.

"The force is strong with this one"

SW: Episode 1 and 4 or 5

"The force is strong with this one"

SW: Episode 1 and 4 or 5
It was IV.

"IM GONNA SING THE DOOM SONG"
Gir, Invader Zim.

Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"...

Damn kids. They're all alike.

But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?

I am a hacker, enter my world...

Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...

Damn underachiever. They're all alike.

I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..."

Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.

I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me... Or feels threatened by me.. Or thinks I'm a smart ass.. Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...

Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike.

And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it... this is where I belong..." I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...

Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike...

You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.

Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.

I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.

The Mentor. January 8th 1986

"IM GONNA SING THE DOOM SONG"
Gir, Invader Zim.

OMG I love that show!

"All of olympus tremble at my name! Zeus is weak. Ares and Athena are dead and I wield the blade! We can win the great war, but not in this time! Together we will destroy the petty gods and we will see olympus crumble before us! Come with me Gaia! Return to my time. Victory awaits!
-Kratos: God of war II

"We have faced far worse than this one fallen mortal. But we are the gods! We whom the mortals worship! We who rule over this land. We who who will not be swept aside by this petulant fool! Brothers! Put aside the pety greevences that have splintered us for so long. We will unite. We will stand together and I will wipe out this plauge!!! Olympus will prevail!"
-Zeus: God of War II

"Zeus your son has returned! I bring with me the destruction of Olympus!
-Kratos: God of War II
Best damned ending ever

faSlJJpggRM

Wow. That's hard to follow.
"Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt."
-Abraham Lincoln
"You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone."
-John Ciardi
"Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature."
-Tom Robbins
"You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun."
-Al Capone

"All general statements are false."

"treason will never succeed.
Whats the reason?
for it it does ,none dare call it treason."
-unknown

The second line is true,
the first line is false

Jarrett is the smartest person in the world. Every time I read one of his posts I get all tingly inside! If I could be anybody else for a day, it would either be Jarrett or one of his game consoles (He would play me! Te-he!) Did I mention I'm Jarrett's biggest fan! I like to give high five his avatar and give him positive rep. Did I mention his avatar is beautiful? I like the pointy teeth...

Geez. I know you guys like me, but c'mon! Calm down!

"FOR PONY!"
-Richard the warlock
"Today is a good day for somebody else to die!"
-battle cry of a resident of The Disc World.

Geez. I know you guys like me, but c'mon! Calm down! I'm no where near as cool as kingofnoland

If you say so..:lol:

One of the best comedians ever IMO.

Hell yeah.

Over here we have Smoky the bear, In england they have Smackie the Frog!!!!

Hedberg FTW =]

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
– Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principal, stand like a rock.”
- T. Jefferson

"Our safety, our liberty, depends upon preserving the Constitution of the United States; as our fathers made it inviolate. The people of the United States are the rightful masters of both congress and the courts - not to overthrow the Constitution, but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution."
- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but usually manages to pick himself up, walk over or around it, and carry on."
- Winston S. Churchill

..............................

- Link (Legend of Zelda)

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

"I could've eaten Alphabits and crapped out a better essay!"

"How was I supposed to know it was flammable?"

"What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?"

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

"If a tree falls in the middle of the forest and lands on a mime, does anyone care?"

"Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?"

"Who are you and how did you get in here? "
"I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith..."

I love to fight with people on two topics they tell you not to talk about, Religion and Politics!

I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.

Mission Accomplished!

F**K OFF! Or I'll kill you with a tray!

F**K IT! WE'LL DO IT LIVE!

Being that Black Hawk Down was my favorite movie.

Y'know what I think? Don't really matter what I think. Once that first bullet goes past your head, politics and all that s*it just goes right out the window.

When I go home people'll ask me, "Hey Hoot, why do you do it man? What, you some kinda war junkie?" You know what I'll say? I won't say a goddamn word. Why? They won't understand. They won't understand why we do it. They won't understand that it's about the men next to you, and that's it. That's all it is.
----------------------------



....Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for....

The Mentor. January 8th 1986

I remember reading that phase before and thought about how kickass it was. I forget where now. Thanks for posting it.

Your praise is completely misguided. I'm just a pathetic waste of pixels, it's Lord Butters I that you should be praising. After all, he's the one who has the creepy-as-f*ck avatar and the implied nobility in his username. Believe me, Lord Butters is the most terrific, fantastic, most handsome person in the history of mankind.

Well, that's... nice, Jarrett. I mean I understand why you feel this way, sometimes I get caught up in how amazing I am too.

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?

Don't bother discussing this one, it'll just get the thread locked.:thumbsup:

^You're right, but it is a nice quote.

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
V for Vendetta.

*
oElizabeth Braddock: Mr. Churchill, this is a disgrace. You are quite drunk.
Churchill: This may be well and true, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

* Young man (after seeing Churchill leave the bathroom without washing his hands): At Eton they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet.
Churchill: At Harrow they taught us not to piss on our hands.

-Winston Churchill

V for Vendetta.

Thats an awesome movie!!!

Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me princess

Link.

Link.
Also Phoenix Wright.

"Kiss me, I've got scurvy"

- Rapp Scallion

All your base are belong to us.

What's the number for 911?
-Little Rascals

"O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth?"

-The world's first analrapist

"No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist." :P

"crap, spit, and a whole lot of duct tape"

-Simones757

"i hate babies!!"

-michael j caboose

Well, that's... nice, Jarrett. I mean I understand why you feel this way, sometimes I get caught up in how amazing Spoony is too.

Why thank you, your highness.

"it's a legitement strategy"

-red vs blue(the best)

"it's a legitement strategy"

-red vs blue(the best)

Yeah that's true.
Dude fix you grammar and punctuation.
Every single post you make looks like it's typed by an illiterate redneck.

"manly fruit"

-"dave"

ya i listen too.

"What could possibly go wrong"
- a lot of people who had unpleasant things happen to them.

good one!
"use your stick"
-Fable

"it prints money!"

-"nintendo"

Yeah that's true.
Dude fix you grammar and punctuation.
Every single post you make looks like it's typed by an illiterate redneck.

Ouch.. Dude that's harsh, c'mon, he's new!

A-Hyuck!

Ouch.. Dude that's harsh, c'mon, he's new!

A-Hyuck!

Yeah fine whatever,
Still pissed off though :angry:

Yeah that's true.
Dude fix you grammar and punctuation.
Every single post you make looks like it's typed by an illiterate redneck.


From a thread that Almighty started himself:
I would probably go through posts on threads and correct spelling, grammer and punctuation. Yeah I'm that OCD-ish.
Dude, you're not one to talk. :thumbsup:

From a thread that Almighty started himself:

Dude, you're not one to talk. :thumbsup:

Didn't do it again did I?
No need to be a b*tch and bring back old topics :thumbsup:

Hahahahaha Almighty got owned.

Not to be a dick, but when you **** up that bad you lose your internet correction privileges.

Actually scratch that, I meant to be a dick.

Hahahahaha Almighty got owned.

Not to be a dick, but when you **** up that bad you lose your internet correction privileges.

Actually scratch that, I am being a dick.

And you're mighty good at it :lol:.
Not like I have a license or anything.
007 - License to correct....

Didn't do it again did I?
No need to be a b*tch and bring back old topics :thumbsup:

Hit a nerve much?
But in all seriousness, you can't really be a hypocrite by insulting another member for misspelling when you do it yourself. I was only a "b*tch" because you were being an a**. Let it go little man.

Hit a nerve much?
But in all seriousness, you can't really be a hypocrite by insulting another member for misspelling when you do it yourself. I was only a "b*tch" because you were being an a**. Let it go little man.

See the :thumbsup:
Called sarcasm.
I couldn't care less about what you think.

NO WAI! I had a :thumbsup: too at the end of my first post. I couldn't care less either. Now if you really didn't care then you wouldn't have replied to it and called me a "b*tch" for bringing up old topics. Good day sir.
Now... keeping it on topic...

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!"
-Cozmo Kramer:lol:

NO WAI! I had a :thumbsup: too at the end of my first post. I couldn't care less either. Now if you really didn't care then you wouldn't have replied to it and called me a "b*tch" for bringing up old topics. Good day sir.
Now... keeping it on topic...

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!"
-George:lol:

Good Day M'am

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool apotamus?-- Mitch Hedberg

NO WAI! I had a :thumbsup: too at the end of my first post. I couldn't care less either. Now if you really didn't care then you wouldn't have replied to it and called me a "b*tch" for bringing up old topics. Good day sir.
Now... keeping it on topic...

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!"
-Cozmo Kramer:lol:

I have a better one.
DRaLpHoZA8E
George is the best.

I am always correct. My opinion may change, the important thing is that you know I am right.
the message you have entered is too short...

There is a god, and his name is ShockwaveLover!

This one's actually real. And I like to think it's true.

You live and learn, or you don't live long. R.A. Heinlen

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. Winston Chuchill

Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.

A couple for fun. :)

Sic Vis Pacem, Para Bellum.
If you want peace, Prepare for war....

Sic Vis Pacem, Para Bellum.
If you want peace, Prepare for war....If you took this quote from the Punisher movie, I officially hate you now.

^That quote is all over the place, it's not nessarily from terrible movies.

"I hate the idea of animal testing - they get all nervous and right all the wrong answers."
-Stephen Fry

"It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt."

"There are two ways to live your life, one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle."

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of gum,"

"Eat sh*t and die"

"I'll rip off you head and sh*t down your neck"

Who else than duke nukem?

"there are two things that are infinite - the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe."


.....

"it's a battle of wits and your completley unarmed"

-Crimson Skies.

"there are two kinds of people who I dislike:
people who can't count."

unknown

If you took this quote from the Punisher movie, I officially hate you now.

Nope,
Punisher Book

"You **** ***** *** *** ***** ***** **** **** go **** *** **** *** *** *** yourself"

-Otacon91

"it's always funny when it doesn't happen to you"
-me
(note: if somebody did make this quote before me I apologize)

"there are two kinds of people in this world, people who have a zombie plan, and dinner"

-sarge, red vs blue(the best)

Master chief: I need a weapon.

"I would make a great Ambadasdor, because I am very shy..."
"And there are two bases! One for the red team and one for the good team!"
"Now he'll just stare at me until I stop talking...then, when he thinks I am done talking then he will start talking again."
"What was it...a helicopter?"
"Why are there 6 pedals if there are only four directions?"
"Sometimes I think about my parents having sex and I get really mad for some reason..."
"Fluffy! The alien that only loves!"
"My name is Michael J. Caboose...and I...hate...babies...!"
"We require verification of your mission...ness."
"Then you can use your feet for high fives and...feet sandwiches. You know...the important stuff..."
"At first, I thought that was me...because I am blue and i like to sleep...but if he is dead, that cannot be me. That would be silly."
"I will eat your unhappiness!!!!!"

Caboose - Red vs. Blue. Classic
I could go on with quotes for days...but I'll spare you (seriously. Everything that comes out of his mouth is quotable).

"The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?"

Sad part is this is probably true

"that's what she said!"

-all idiots and or @$$holes

"that's what she said!"

-all idiots and or @$$holes

I take it you have never seen the office?
Its so funny, And its pretty long too.
And yes,
That is what she said.....

"you are now manually breathing"

-strika234

"you are now manually breathing"

-strika234

Are you even reading the posts or randomly posting?


Computer science teacher: Are you sleeping? Stand up.
5 mins later
Computer science teacher: Your still sleeping, touch the CPU.... Feel the Vibration
Frost: THATS WHAT SHE SAID

Thats from one of my classes at school.
Just to spite you every quote i make will have 'Thats what she said' in it.

Sometimes you just gotta take all your problems....
take all your problems and just sit 'em down...
and give all you problems a good talking to...
then bend 'em over...
and do 'em up the ass.
What? who said that?
My football coach talking to player with a hurt foot.

"It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt."

Actually, the quote, (which is from Abraham Lincoln, by the way) is "Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Pretty much the same, just worded fancier.

Hopefully no one has said thise one

"I reject your reality and substitue my own."
-Adam Savage Co-host of Mythbusters
Mythbusters ftw!

Randomperson, after being killed multiple times by campers on backlot:
RP:*****ing campers! They need to be emancipated!
ARM: (laughs) You mean emasculated?
RP: Yeah, that thing.

Randomperson, after being killed multiple times by campers on backlot:
RP:*****ing campers! They need to be emancipated!
ARM: (laughs) You mean emasculated?
RP: Yeah, that thing.

Lol don't you just f***ing love the stupid things randomperson says?:grin:

I love carpet, I love desk. I love lamp! I love lamp!

Brick Tamland in Anchorman.

Lol don't you just f***ing love the stupid things randomperson says?:grin:

It's awesome. And hysterical.

"I am Caboose the vehicle destroyer!"
*while running from a tank*
- Caboose

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby

Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver.
Robert Paul

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Dale Carnegie

[These quotes from a 2001 Washington TV/Radio Correspondents dinner]

As you know, we're studying safe levels for arsenic in drinking water to base our decision on sound science, the scientists told us we need to test the water glasses of about 3,000 people. Thank you for participating.

"Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?" Let us analyze that sentence for a moment. If you're a stickler, you probably think the singular verb "is" should have been the plural "are," but if you read it closely, you'll see I'm using the intransitive plural subjunctive tense. So the word "is" are correct.

In my sentences I go where no man has gone before...I am a boon to the English language.

George W. Bush

Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
Ronald Reagan

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they've seen me laugh, and they've seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.
Bill Maher

Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
Walter Walker

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare.
Daniel Patrick Moynihan

It may be true that you can't fool all the people all the time, but you can fool enough of them to rule a large country.
Will Durant


Be warned.
The spoiler below contains a huge amount of quotes.
Pick your favourite.
My favourite ones are in bold.


Colemanballs:

"I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones"
Chris Turner, Peterborough manager, before LCQF, 1992

"Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy to hang around in defence."
NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning

"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered"
George Best.

"If we played like that every week we wouldn't be so inconsistent"
Bryan Robson, Man U, 1990.

"That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on."
John Lambie, Partick Thistle manager, when told a concussed striker did not know who he was.

"Fulham Football Club seeks a Manager / Genius."
Newspaper ad, 1991.

"Ardiles strokes the ball like it was part of his anatomy."
Jimmy Magee, RTE WC commentator.

"We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought."
Bobby Robson after England nearly lost to Cameroon, WC 1990.

"We'll still be happy if we lose. It's on at the same time as the Beer Festival."
Niall O'Mahoney, Cork City manager before UEFA Cup game v Bayern Munich.

"It's hard to be passionate twice a week."
George Graham on Arsenal's punishing schedule, 1991.

"The new West Stand casts a giant shadow over the entire pitch, even on a sunny day."
CHRIS JONES, Evening Standard

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack -- will you stay in football?"
STUART HALL, Radio 5 Live

"Unfortunately, we keep kicking ourselves in the foot."
RAY WILKINS, speaking on BBC1

"I've got a gut feeling in my stomach..."
ALAN SUGAR, speaking on BBC1

"I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better."
RON AKTINSON in a TV interview

"Johnson has revelled in the 'hole' behind Dwight Yorke..."
Carling FA Premiership WWW Page

"An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal."
DAVE BASSETT, speaking on Sky Sports

"Both sides have scored a couple of goals, and both sides have conceded a couple of goals."
PETER WITHE, speaking on Radio 5 Live

"You don't score 64 goals in 86 games at the highest level without being able to score goals."
ALAN GREEN, speaking on Radio 5 Live

"What's it like being in Bethlehem, the place where Christmas began? I suppose it's like seeing Ian Wright at Arsenal...."
SIMON FANSHAWE, speaking on Talk Radio

"And we all know that in football if you stand still you go backwards..."
PETER REID, Tyne Tees Sport Special

"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs..."
ANDY GRAY, Sky Sports

"The lad got over-excited when he saw the whites of the goalpost's eyes."
STEVE COPPELL, Radio 5 Live

"They (Rosenborg) have won 66 games, and they've scored in all of them."
BRIAN MOORE, ITV

"If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen."
TERRY VENABLES, Capital Gold

"The lads really ran their socks into the ground."
ALEX FERGUSON

"He (Brian Laudrup) wasn't just facing one defender -- he was facing one at the front and one at the back as well."
TREVOR STEVEN, STV

"It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score on Saturday."
Radio 5 Live

"...but Arsenal are quick to credit Bergkamp with laying on 75% of their nine goals."
TONY GUBBA, BBC Match of the Day

"...an excellent player, but he (Ian Wright) does have a black side."
GARY LINEKER, BBC

"We say 'educated left foot'... of course, there are many players with educated right foots."
RON JONES, Radio 5 Live

"That's twice now he (Terry Phelan) has got between himself and the goal."
BRIAN MARWOOD, Radio 5 Live

"Mark Hughes at his very best: he loves to feel people right behind him..."
KEVIN KEEGAN

"Football today, it's like a game of chess. It's all about money."
NEWCASTLE UNITED FAN, Radio 5 Live

Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice."
KEVIN KEEGAN, Radio 5 Live

"We threw our dice into the ring and turned up trumps."
BRUCE RIOCH, ITV

"And I suppose they (Spurs) are nearer to being out of the FA Cup now than any other time since the first half of this season, when they weren't ever in it anyway."
JOHN MOTSON, BBC

"... and he crosses the line with the ball almost mesmerically tied
to his foot with a ball of string..."
IAN DARKE, Radio 5

"I never make predictions and I never will."
PAUL GASCOIGNE

"And there's Ray Clemence looking as cool as ever out in the cold."
JIMMY HILL

"....and the news from Guadalajara where the temperature is 96 degrees, is that Falcao is warming up."
BRIAN MOORE

"If history is going to repeat itself I should think we can expect the same thing again."
TERRY VENABLES

"I'm not a believer in luck..... but I do believe you need it."
ALAN BALL

"The Uruguayans are losing no time in making a meal around the referee."
MIKE INGHAM

"I think that was a moment of cool panic there."
RON ATKINSON

"Beckenbauer really has gambled all his eggs."
RON ATKINSON

"Celtic manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve."
JOHN GREIG

"I spent four indifferent years at Goodison Park, but they were great years."
MARTIN HODGE

"Souness gave Fleck a second chance and he grabbed it with both feet."
JAMES SANDERSON

"They have missed so many chances they must be wringing their heads in shame."
RON GREENWOOD

"It's headed away by John Clark, using his head."
DEREK RAE

"Tottenham are trying tonight to become the first London team to win this Cup. The last team to do so was the 1973 Spurs side."
MIKE INGHAM

"He's very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself nobody will catch him."
BOBBY ROBSON

"The shot from Laws was precise but wide."
ALAN PARRY

"The game is balanced in Arsenal's favour."
JOHN MOTSON

"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different."
TREVOR BROOKING

"Many clubs have a question mark in the shape of an axe-head hanging over them."
MALCOLM McDONALD

"Tottenham have impressed me. They haven't thrown in the towel even though they have been under the gun."
BOBBY CHARLTON

You have got to miss them to score sometimes."
DAVE BASSETT

"Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead."
TOM FERRIE

"A contract on a piece of paper, saying you want to leave, is like a piece of paper saying you want to leave."
JOHN HOLLINS

"And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley......unless somebody knocks us out."
DAVE BASSETT

"It was that game that put the Everton ship back on the road."
ALAN GREEN

"And Arsenal now have plenty of time to dictate the last few seconds."
PETER JONES

"Bobby Robson must be thinking of throwing some fresh legs on."
KEVIN KEEGAN

"What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball they are attacking their opponents goal."
JIMMY HILL

"Celtic were at one time nine points ahead, but somewhere along the road, their ship went off the rails."
RICHARD PARK

"That's football, Mike, Northern Ireland have had several chances and haven't scored but England have had no chances and scored twice."
TREVOR BROOKING

"...and so they have not been able to improve their 100% record."
SPORTS ROUNDUP

"In terms of the Richter Scale this defeat was a force eight gale."
JOHN LYALL

"In comparison, there's no comparison."
RON GREENWOOD

"I would also think that the action replay showed it to be worse than it actually was."
RON ATKINSON

"Mirandinha will have more shots this afternoon than both sides put together."
MALCOLM McDONALD

"Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins."
BRIAN MOORE

"Football's not like an electric light. You can't just flick the switch and change from quick to slow."
JOHN GREIG

"Certain people are for me and certain people are pro me."
TERRY VENABLES

"I'm going to make a prediction - it could go either way."
RON ATKINSON

"And with 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0."
IAN DARK

"They have got their feet on the ground and if they stay that way they will go places."
JOHN GIDMAN

"Being naturally right-footed he doesn't often chance his arm with his left foot."
TREVOR BROOKING

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
DAVID ACFIELD

"What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio"
Gerry Francis

"If we played like this every week, we wouldn't be so inconsistant"
Bryan Robson (1990)

"John Harkes going to Sheffield, Wednesday."
New York Post (1993)

"If there weren't such a thing as football, we'd all be frustrated footballers."
Mick Lyons

"He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head"
Derek Johnstone - BBC TV Scotland (1994)

"The crowd think that Todd handled the ball.... they must have seen something that nobody else did"
Barry Davies (1975)

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel"
Stuart Pearce (1992)

"They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Highway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different"
Kevin Keegan

"Glen Hoddle hasn't been the Hoddle we know. Neither has Bryan Robson"
Ron Greenwood

"There's no way Ryan Giggs is another George Best. He's another Ryan Giggs"
Denis Law

"The only thing I have in common with George Best is that we come from the same place..play for the same club..and were discovered by the same man"
Norman Whiteside

"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat"
Ron Atkinson (1979)

"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip"
John Motson - BBC TV

"I don't think there is anybody bigger or smaller than Maradona"
Kevin Keegan

Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you think Germany has got of getting through?"
Terry Venables: "I think it's fifty - fifty"

"And he's got the icepack on his groin there, so possibly not the old shoulder injury"
Ray French - Sky TV Rugby

"Ah! isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew"

"What a man, what a lift, what a jerk"
Jimmy McGee on weight lifting in olympics (jerk being a movement in
weight lifting)

"Watch her spread her legs and show her class"
Jimmy McGee on the last 300 metres of a long distance final
(Olympics).

"This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother"
Ted Walsh (Horse Racing Commentator)

"oh great, a giant concrete base, is it our birthday?""i want cake"

-tucker and caboose(red vs blue)

"lololololololololoolololololol!!"



-macter sh8f (master chief)
"beer is spelled with 2 e's"
-the Arbiter
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
you've been assulted with smilys

I love carpet

Who doesn't?
Also, thanks for the compliment;
Spoony is awesome and his avatar has the coolest mustache I've ever seen.

"I heard that your brain stops growing when you start doing drugs. Lets see, I guess that makes me 19."
-- Steven Tyler

"doing nothing is hard, you never know when your done"

-anonomous

"The 1094 pucks I stopped last year isn't whats keeping me up at night, it's the 160 I didn't"
-Henrik Lundquist

"you miss 100% of the shots you don't take"

- %#%!@ Mc$@#%#^

oh and 3000 POSTS OMFGWTFBBQ!!!1!!1!11!one!!!!1!!eleven!!!1!

"I once saw him kill a man with a sock full of bang caps."
"Oh my God. Did his head explode?"
...dramatic pause... "Yes it did."
-Venture Brothers

Caboose: My toes... ...are getting pruny.
Just about everything from that episode is quotable, so I'll just post it.
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"that is water. it is very wet, and very sloshy"
-caboose

"lllllleeeeeeerrrrroooooyyyyyy!!! jjjjjeeeeennnnkkkkkeeeennnnsss!!!!!


-leroy
Zll_jAKvarw

"i can't open this frickin trail mix!!!!"

-my friend

"you miss 100% of the shots you don't take"

- Wayne Gretzky

oh and 3000 POSTS OMFGWTFBBQ!!!1!!1!11!one!!!!1!!eleven!!!1!

Fixed your quote source

"lllllleeeeeeerrrrroooooyyyyyy!!! jjjjjeeeeennnnkkkkkeeeennnnsss!!!!!


-leroy
Zll_jAKvarw

ALL my mates were saying that at school so i assumed it was like from some program and i had never seen it, now i realise they're quoting WOW LOL

ALL my mates were saying that...
All your mates are belong to us. I just wanted to say that.

"Anyone who would make a claim like that on national TV is a real asshat."

"This is a quote fom NuclearNinja1429"

-Me

Tis better to die on your feet then live on your knees. --

When I feed the poor they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food they call me a communist.--

the late great kernal sanders
"im too drunk to taste this chicken

the late great kernal sanders
"im too drunk to taste this chicken

It's COLONEL, ****!

hummm

-Ya coincidence. Like that time you told your teacher your home work randomly combusted on the way to school.

O heard that on some other forum....

"Phil, You're partied out... AGAIN!"
"What if he honks in the car?"
"I'm giving you a no honk guarentee!"
"Hey Phil....If you're going to spew, spew into this" *unfolds little paper cup*

Waynes World ftw.

lololololololololol these are funny!!

"oh, my oompa loompas!"

-pig from pearls before swine

"oh, my oompa loompas!"

-pig from pearls before swine

Originally posted by Pig from Pearls Before Swine
But BLT's are so darn good.

I love Pearls.

You Fools, I'm the great Michael Angelo, and this is the 16th Chapel

Yakko: Oh Yeah? If you're so great, what did you do with the other 15 chapels? Huh, got you there!

Animaniacs ftw. Priceless Quotes.

-LatinLegacy

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974)

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

Larry Hardiman

Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music.

Marcus Brigstocke

"Even the Smallest person can change the course of the Future"
-Galdriel, from the Lord of the Rings




Catt: "You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know."
Heath Ledger: "Yeah, I know... but there's always drums, bass, and maybe someday even a tambourine."
-from the movie "10 Things I Hate About You"

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Jay Leno (1950 - )

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965), on the eve of his 75th birthday

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Brendan Behan (1923 - 1964)

THE MOST EPIC ONE EVER - Ill be back... - mr arnold =]
i am going to hunt you down ang give you such a look youll actuly die of fright - ahtisharry
are you feeling lucky punk? - do i have to say who that is off?

Player, "I think I broke his freakin neck!"
coach, "I think he broke his freakin neck!"
trainer,"I think he broke his freakin neck!"
Player, "Told you I broke his freakin neck!"
from the longest yard
Quack danm you! -jamie from mythbusters (haha it's just really funny!)

"That's it. He's dead." Good ole JR after the undertaker threw mankind about 30 feet off the top of a hell in the cell match, through a table.

And that is why this is the next quote.

"Mick Foley is God." Why is Mick Foley God? because his quote is this... "BANG!!! BANG!!!" - Cactus Jack

I almost re-typed my quote. Then, I remembered it's in my signature.

"Now that America is ready for some change with President Obama, we too are ready to bring some change to one of our favorite franchises in LocoRoco 2" - Playstation Blog

"War does not determine who is right, only who is left" - Godfrey, Fallout 3

" You the master of lock picking "
Resident Evil

Player, "I think I broke his freakin neck!"
coach, "I think he broke his freakin neck!"
trainer,"I think he broke his freakin neck!"
Player, "Told you I broke his freakin neck!"
from the longest yard
Quack danm you! -jamie from mythbusters (haha it's just really funny!)
It's:
Player: "I think I made him shit himself!"
Coach: "I think he just shit himself!"
Medic: "Yeah this guy just shit himself"

Here are some quotes of my recent experiences :)
Seth: (after just jumping around in halo at 0 gravity hitting me right out of a tank with a gravity hammer by jumping around and doging all of my shots) "F*** YEAH!!! I'M THE JUMPING FLEE OF DOOM!!!
Buck: (don't worry it's just from kill bill): "I'm buck...And I'm here to f***"
Science Teacher: "Oh mah god! Puppies!"
Rolland the Gunlsinger: "Even the Damned love"

Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino
- A Colored Man, a Chink, and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender say's "Get the f#uck out!

No offense to anyone of the above ethnic groups.

"Imagine that you are starving, almost dead. You have a frying pan, an electric stove and a box of eggs. And there's no electricity in the building you are in. That's how making levels in LBP feels..."

- Me

One of my favorites from Dumb and Dumber ( a modern classic )
Harry: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.

Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of $hit, man.

Or this one from Army of Darkness
Ash: Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?!!

nice fire mouth i wanted to put that one form the army of darkness but couldnt renmber all of it.
come on guys keep the quotes comin these are clasic

"Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but usually manages to pick himself up, walk over or around it, and carry on."
- Winston S. Churchill

More Churchill... (ok lots more Churchill)...

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

The price of greatness is responsibility.

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.

When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.

and finally...

Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.”
Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”

"i'l be back"

- terminator xD

Are those frick'n sharks with frick'n laser beams attached to their frick'n heads!


-Doctor Evil

"wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka..."

- pacman

Your mom goes to college!

-Kip

Columbus: "The world is round! Like your head!"
*points to head*

King: NO! The world is flat!
*takes out a hammer*
"Like your head!"
*flattens head with hammer.


I love the animaniacs.

"She turned me into a Newt!..................I got better."

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy"

Monty Python Life of Brian

"This Parrot is Dead!"
"Is it Sir? I'm very sorry about that, let me give you your money back"

Michael Palin screwing over John Cleese at the Secret Policemans Ball.

Hopefully thats made up for a woefull lack of Python

"It seems to me I am trying to tell you a dream - making a vain attempt, because no relation of a dream can convey the dream - sensation, that commingling of absurdity, surprise, and bewilderment in a tremor of struggling revolt, that notion of being captured which is the very essence of dreams..."

"...No, it is impossible; it is impossible to convey the life-sensation of any given epoch of one's existence - that which makes its truth, its meaning - its subtle and penetrating essence. It is impossible. We live, as we dream - alone..."

- Joesph Conrad

Heart of Darkness

"What happened to the good ol days? Like enjoying a rainbow! Or sitting underneath a waterfall, enjoying a big glass of Scotch! Or enjoying a cigarette on a hot summer day! Where did those days go? Did they go extinct with the Dinosaurs and the tyranus rex? Not in my book they didn't! And that book is the Bible. Give it a read sometime! Last I heard, Bibles were in libraries! Hey, good night!"

- Ron Burgandy
Wake Up Ron Burgandy: The Lost Movie

"Raaargh"

Infected # 273 from the movie "28 Weeks Later"

"Raaargh"

Infected # 273 from the movie "28 Weeks Later"

Razma, being funny in a forum thread about various quotes.

"eat shit and die slow" method man from the wu tang clan
"parecl force, parcel force, we will get this package toooooo yoooou, F**K OFF" lee evans
"remember the time we got wated and..." myself my little brother and my big brother
"the human spirit is indestructabel" tim armstrong from rancid

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." -FDR

Its not funny, its not orginal, but its a classic quote thats still true to this day.

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit.

Ah, these diplomats! What chatterboxes! There's only one way to shut them up - cut them down with machine guns. Bulganin, go and get me one!

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

Who cares if a laser guided 500 lb bomb is accurate to within 9 feet?

What is the similarity between Air Traffic Controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies - If Air Traffic Control screws up… The pilot dies...

Military quotes FTW.

Military quotes FTW.

When the safety pin has been pulled Mr Grenade is not our friend.

and

This end towards enemy.

"You'll be saying WOW every time you use this towel!"
-Vince Offer (the ShamWow douche)

Your mom

- Pretty much everyone on this forum at least once

W. C. Fields - "A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money."

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Mark Twain

Failure is not an option. Everyone has to succeed.
Arnold Schwarzenegger

"I believe whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you...........*take off mask*...... stranger." - The Joker - The Dark Knight