JAcK0R
10-30-2007, 09:22 PM
"Evil Genius Will Wright Claims Spore Release Soon" By Mattato
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c253/chikara077/sporearticlepic.jpg
In what can only be described as true horror, the infamous criminal mastermind, Will Wright, today announced that his “Earth-endgame Project Spore” would be unleashed on the world in six months. Wright gave a world-wide address today:
“Greetings, people of the world. I would like to let everyone know that Spore will be released very soon. We’ve had to do a lot of testing to make sure that the virus is easily able to exploit a wide demographic of ethnicities. I want the people who have mocked me, shunned me, and called me insane to be infected by Spore. I don’t want it to be just some thing that only a few cities get infected with before some spy or super-hero shows up and ruins everything. Our main goal from day one has been total annihilation.”
Will Wright took the time to talk about the apparently grim situation of the world-conquering evil industry:
“I have grown so tired of all these Hollywood evil geniuses. Here, you’ve got Dr. Evil. What a pussy. The man constantly dotes on his “Mini-Me” like the imbecile that he is. Hell, all of the Bond villains practically let Bond succeed. They don’t want to lose their cash-cow. There are no real evil geniuses left, just a bunch of fools who use the plight of world domination as a ploy to land big, fat movie contracts.”
Wright finally commented Spore’s symptoms before shutting off the live video feed from his “Lair of EAvil”:
“Victims have crapped out their still-beating hearts in our best-case scenarios. The relatively minor effects also include ‘zombification,’ vomiting of precious body fluids, and a sudden urge to watch Uwe Boll films. Unless, of course, the world gives me… One Hundred Billion dollars!”
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c253/chikara077/sporearticlepic.jpg
In what can only be described as true horror, the infamous criminal mastermind, Will Wright, today announced that his “Earth-endgame Project Spore” would be unleashed on the world in six months. Wright gave a world-wide address today:
“Greetings, people of the world. I would like to let everyone know that Spore will be released very soon. We’ve had to do a lot of testing to make sure that the virus is easily able to exploit a wide demographic of ethnicities. I want the people who have mocked me, shunned me, and called me insane to be infected by Spore. I don’t want it to be just some thing that only a few cities get infected with before some spy or super-hero shows up and ruins everything. Our main goal from day one has been total annihilation.”
Will Wright took the time to talk about the apparently grim situation of the world-conquering evil industry:
“I have grown so tired of all these Hollywood evil geniuses. Here, you’ve got Dr. Evil. What a pussy. The man constantly dotes on his “Mini-Me” like the imbecile that he is. Hell, all of the Bond villains practically let Bond succeed. They don’t want to lose their cash-cow. There are no real evil geniuses left, just a bunch of fools who use the plight of world domination as a ploy to land big, fat movie contracts.”
Wright finally commented Spore’s symptoms before shutting off the live video feed from his “Lair of EAvil”:
“Victims have crapped out their still-beating hearts in our best-case scenarios. The relatively minor effects also include ‘zombification,’ vomiting of precious body fluids, and a sudden urge to watch Uwe Boll films. Unless, of course, the world gives me… One Hundred Billion dollars!”