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09-16-2009, 07:10 AM
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There are a bunch of games coming out this month that look pretty good and will probably do fairly well; Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2, Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2, and even Afrika and Need for Speed: Shift (can you say rebirth?) will probably nab their fair share of the market. However, there is only one game that makes me WET…I mean…umm…moist? Whatever the male equivalent is dammit.
Now I’m not stupid; contrary to a recent SG opinion poll of my ex-girlfriends who claim that yes, I am indeed very stupid. I know this game will more than likely not pass beyond a score of 80 (75?) on Metacritic and is just waiting to be ravaged by critics.
However, for whatever reason, I find Eliza Dushku intoxicating. Hell I watch Doll House even though the only thing I remember about the show is that they all sleep in these weird floor type coffins…but I digress.
The game looks like Max Payne and Quentin Tarantino had a baby together. It looks like a B-movie made into a B-game…on purpose. I’m not going to buy this game later today because I think it will be one of the most critically acclaimed games of the year; I’m going to buy it because it looks like an overly stylized action packed bloodbath with little depth and a blatant target audience of guys who fawn over hyper violent female heroines.
THAT IS WHAT I WANT!
I want to pop into slow motion, blaze a bunch of bad guys with machine guns, castrate some poor moe with my sword and have the sweet yet badass voice of Eliza cheering me on the whole time.* The voice acting of Malcom McDowell will probably add some extra cool to the game as well.
I’m not expecting to be floored by some breakthrough in game design or core mechanics. I love cult films, B-movies, Max Payne, Eliza, guns, swords, bad language, blood and WETness. I think WET will provide that, so I’m going to buy the game. The rest of you be damned.
Now someone give me a towel… and vote in my pole… um poll.
Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll. Source: Wet (http://www.wetthegame.com)
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?d=yIl2AUoC8zA (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:yIl2AUoC8zA) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?d=dnMXMwOfBR0 (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:dnMXMwOfBR0) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?i=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:gIN9vFwOqvQ (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:gIN9vFwOqvQ) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?i=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:V_sGLiPBpWU (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:V_sGLiPBpWU) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?d=qj6IDK7rITs (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:qj6IDK7rITs) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?i=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:F7zBnMyn0Lo (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:F7zBnMyn0Lo) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?i=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:D7DqB2pKExk (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:D7DqB2pKExk) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?d=7Q72WNTAKBA (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:7Q72WNTAKBA) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?d=l6gmwiTKsz0 (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:l6gmwiTKsz0)
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSarcasticGamer/~4/Z9-sh1pNkS4
Click here to view the article. (http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSarcasticGamer/~3/Z9-sh1pNkS4/eliza-dushku-all-wet-buy.html)
There are a bunch of games coming out this month that look pretty good and will probably do fairly well; Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2, Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2, and even Afrika and Need for Speed: Shift (can you say rebirth?) will probably nab their fair share of the market. However, there is only one game that makes me WET…I mean…umm…moist? Whatever the male equivalent is dammit.
Now I’m not stupid; contrary to a recent SG opinion poll of my ex-girlfriends who claim that yes, I am indeed very stupid. I know this game will more than likely not pass beyond a score of 80 (75?) on Metacritic and is just waiting to be ravaged by critics.
However, for whatever reason, I find Eliza Dushku intoxicating. Hell I watch Doll House even though the only thing I remember about the show is that they all sleep in these weird floor type coffins…but I digress.
The game looks like Max Payne and Quentin Tarantino had a baby together. It looks like a B-movie made into a B-game…on purpose. I’m not going to buy this game later today because I think it will be one of the most critically acclaimed games of the year; I’m going to buy it because it looks like an overly stylized action packed bloodbath with little depth and a blatant target audience of guys who fawn over hyper violent female heroines.
THAT IS WHAT I WANT!
I want to pop into slow motion, blaze a bunch of bad guys with machine guns, castrate some poor moe with my sword and have the sweet yet badass voice of Eliza cheering me on the whole time.* The voice acting of Malcom McDowell will probably add some extra cool to the game as well.
I’m not expecting to be floored by some breakthrough in game design or core mechanics. I love cult films, B-movies, Max Payne, Eliza, guns, swords, bad language, blood and WETness. I think WET will provide that, so I’m going to buy the game. The rest of you be damned.
Now someone give me a towel… and vote in my pole… um poll.
Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll. Source: Wet (http://www.wetthegame.com)
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?d=yIl2AUoC8zA (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:yIl2AUoC8zA) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?d=dnMXMwOfBR0 (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:dnMXMwOfBR0) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?i=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:gIN9vFwOqvQ (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:gIN9vFwOqvQ) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?i=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:V_sGLiPBpWU (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:V_sGLiPBpWU) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?d=qj6IDK7rITs (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:qj6IDK7rITs) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?i=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:F7zBnMyn0Lo (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:F7zBnMyn0Lo) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?i=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:D7DqB2pKExk (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:D7DqB2pKExk) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?d=7Q72WNTAKBA (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:7Q72WNTAKBA) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?d=l6gmwiTKsz0 (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Z9-sh1pNkS4:c2M3M28CsM4:l6gmwiTKsz0)
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSarcasticGamer/~4/Z9-sh1pNkS4
Click here to view the article. (http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSarcasticGamer/~3/Z9-sh1pNkS4/eliza-dushku-all-wet-buy.html)