News Bot
08-04-2008, 09:40 AM
http://sarcasticgamer.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/facebreaker-20080517080239869_640w1.jpg (http://sarcasticgamer.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/facebreaker-20080517080239869_640w1.jpg)
The Facebreaker Demo is out and it sucks. You can stop here and move on, but there’s so much more to this than me just dismissing it out of hand. You see, I really wanted to like this game. This game was on my radar from the word go. Initially, I had hoped that this would be a more of a “cartoony” Fight Night. A fun, arcadey boxer. Something different, yet similar to the best boxing game ever made: Fight Night Round 3.
Nope.
Find out why, after the jump.
Fight Night Round 3 for the Xbox 360, is, without question, the best boxing game of all time. Cry about Punch Out all you want, go back and play that game and prepare for disappointment. Fight Night was the real deal. Great analog controls, a deep customizable system for creating and maintaining your own boxer. Friggin Mohamed Ali. The bottom line was that it was just really fun. Fight Night was it.* Then EA closed the Chicago Studio that made those games.
Before the next Fight Night was announced, when Facebreaker was announced, I had high hopes.* I thought, “EA, boxing game, cartoony… Ok, you’ve got me interested.”* Sadly no.* Facebreaker is really just a rudimentary fighting game.* It’s like something that belongs on XBLA.* There’s little skill involved, has three attacks and resembles boxing about as much as I resemble Dolph Lundgren.
There’s a high and a low attack along with a third, somewhat context sensitive attack.* You block with the right trigger, and that’s about it.*Oh, and did I mention that you can throw your opponents?* Yeah… that sucks. This is not boxing. You also have the ability to dodge high if you hold down the high or low attack, while you’re getting attacked, but it’s so random that I don’t even know if I would call it part of the game.* It’s completely necessary, mind you, but barely works.* Let me explain.
Basically, you can pummel or be pummeled by button mashing, but if you’re getting pummeled, one of the only ways to escape is by holding down the high attack while getting hit by a high attack, which will then allow you to dodge and then counter attack. So your matches will go like this:
Button Mash, dodge, button mash, special move, button mash, dodge, button mash.
Oh, you can make your own character, but that works about as well as the whole game, so don’t expect much.
Final word: Kim Kardashian is a playable boxer.* You know, the girl that’s famous for having a sex tape and a big ass?* (Yes I stole that from the Soup. How could I not?)
Kim fracking Kardashian… That’s your cherry on top of this suck sundae.
Oh, and her ass isn’t even that big.* That’s how bad the character creator is…
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheSarcasticGamer?i=qgc0QB (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheSarcasticGamer?a=qgc0QB)
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=vJ9vJK (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=vJ9vJK) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=7lZlTK (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=7lZlTK) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=2pXOxk (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=2pXOxk) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=WqJmvk (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=WqJmvk) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=aduIzK (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=aduIzK) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=pxp9Sk (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=pxp9Sk) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=Q73uWk (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Q73uWk) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=ULPtDK (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=ULPtDK) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=2zGGIK (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=2zGGIK)
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSarcasticGamer/~4/355382095
Click here to view the article. (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSarcasticGamer/~3/355382095/facebreaker-demo-sucks.html)
The Facebreaker Demo is out and it sucks. You can stop here and move on, but there’s so much more to this than me just dismissing it out of hand. You see, I really wanted to like this game. This game was on my radar from the word go. Initially, I had hoped that this would be a more of a “cartoony” Fight Night. A fun, arcadey boxer. Something different, yet similar to the best boxing game ever made: Fight Night Round 3.
Nope.
Find out why, after the jump.
Fight Night Round 3 for the Xbox 360, is, without question, the best boxing game of all time. Cry about Punch Out all you want, go back and play that game and prepare for disappointment. Fight Night was the real deal. Great analog controls, a deep customizable system for creating and maintaining your own boxer. Friggin Mohamed Ali. The bottom line was that it was just really fun. Fight Night was it.* Then EA closed the Chicago Studio that made those games.
Before the next Fight Night was announced, when Facebreaker was announced, I had high hopes.* I thought, “EA, boxing game, cartoony… Ok, you’ve got me interested.”* Sadly no.* Facebreaker is really just a rudimentary fighting game.* It’s like something that belongs on XBLA.* There’s little skill involved, has three attacks and resembles boxing about as much as I resemble Dolph Lundgren.
There’s a high and a low attack along with a third, somewhat context sensitive attack.* You block with the right trigger, and that’s about it.*Oh, and did I mention that you can throw your opponents?* Yeah… that sucks. This is not boxing. You also have the ability to dodge high if you hold down the high or low attack, while you’re getting attacked, but it’s so random that I don’t even know if I would call it part of the game.* It’s completely necessary, mind you, but barely works.* Let me explain.
Basically, you can pummel or be pummeled by button mashing, but if you’re getting pummeled, one of the only ways to escape is by holding down the high attack while getting hit by a high attack, which will then allow you to dodge and then counter attack. So your matches will go like this:
Button Mash, dodge, button mash, special move, button mash, dodge, button mash.
Oh, you can make your own character, but that works about as well as the whole game, so don’t expect much.
Final word: Kim Kardashian is a playable boxer.* You know, the girl that’s famous for having a sex tape and a big ass?* (Yes I stole that from the Soup. How could I not?)
Kim fracking Kardashian… That’s your cherry on top of this suck sundae.
Oh, and her ass isn’t even that big.* That’s how bad the character creator is…
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheSarcasticGamer?i=qgc0QB (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheSarcasticGamer?a=qgc0QB)
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=vJ9vJK (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=vJ9vJK) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=7lZlTK (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=7lZlTK) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=2pXOxk (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=2pXOxk) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=WqJmvk (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=WqJmvk) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=aduIzK (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=aduIzK) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=pxp9Sk (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=pxp9Sk) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=Q73uWk (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=Q73uWk) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=ULPtDK (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=ULPtDK) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?i=2zGGIK (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/TheSarcasticGamer?a=2zGGIK)
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSarcasticGamer/~4/355382095
Click here to view the article. (http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSarcasticGamer/~3/355382095/facebreaker-demo-sucks.html)